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Okay, you've heard about it. You've seen it in erotic videos. And you might have gotten a shiver of pleasure thinking about the "taboo" topic of anal sex, but maybe you aren't sure your partner will go for it.
The real question is: how the heck do you get started with anal sex? What are the most important things you both have to know?
Begin With The Basics
Forget the old idea that anal sex is a "forbidden" practice. These days, it's nothing to ashamed of: more and more couples are discovering the unique joys of anal pleasure, even couples who have been together for quite a while. Keep an open mind when you're considering anal sex. Talk it through: what are your concerns? Probably your first question will be: "But doesn't it hurt?" (Hint: Not if you're doing it right!)
The main thing to remember is that both of you need to communicate when you want to try something new, and anal sex is no exception.
The biggest rule in anal sex is to take it slow and easy. Although anal sex is something new to you, and may feel unfamiliar, still, nothing should feel uncomfortable or painful. This is why communication throughout the whole process is so important - you should be telling your partner what feels good and what doesn't. The goal here is satisfaction for both of you!
Crank Up The Barry White!
If you've got any Barry White music, now's the time to turn it up to 11 - because things are gonna get sexy!
The secret to satisfying anal sex is to relax the anal area. It starts with a slow, sensuous, erotic massage of your partner's entire ass, preferably with a good massage oil. For extra pleasure, warm the oil slightly and make sure it's not too hot. For three delicious flavors, you might want to try Kama Sutra Massage Oils of Love. If you're looking for a light, silky all natural oil, try Better Sex Massage Oil. Massage the oil over your partner's buttocks in a slow and sexy motion, letting your hands glide over your partner's skin. Don't neglect the anus - it needs to be relaxed, too. When your partner's feeling all warm and sexy, tell him or her that you're going to insert your finger in the anus.
When you're ready to insert your finger or penis, you're also ready for one of the most important tools for anal sex - a really good anal lube! This is something you absolutely can't skimp on. Anal lubricants are especially made for anal sex. Since the "backdoor" doesn't produce natural lubrication, you'll need a sex lubricant that's much thicker than the usual sex lubes and you'll need to re-apply it to keep the sex slippery. Some people like anal lubes that have a slight numbing effect, but when you're first starting out, it's important that your partner be able to feel what you're doing, so he or she can provide feedback on his or her comfort level. If you want relaxation with no numbing effects, try Daring Anal Relaxing Spray. One of our most popular anal lubes is System JO, which comes in a silicone version for a super-slippery experience. For an easy clean-up water-based lube, try thick Better Sex Gel Lubricant.
Lube up your little finger and insert it just a little way into the anus sloooowly - take your time and enjoy the reaction! Massage the anus with your finger and keep massaging as your partner relaxes further. This is where communication becomes really important - if your partner feels uncomfortable at any point, stop and back up. This lets you know how far you can insert your penis or an anal toy.
Now it's time to slather your penis and the anal opening with anal lube and begin a nice, slow, sexy penetration! Take it easy and have fun with it! Enjoy the new sensations and the completely different erotic effects of backdoor bliss.
Don't be disappointed if you can't go all the way in at first: anal sex is a progressive thing. As you two keep at it, you'll both find yourselves getting comfortable with it, learning to gradually open up the anal passage through relaxation.
A Delightful Variation!
And if your first time with anal was the man penetrating the woman, have we got a great surprise for you! Did you know that men are capable of long, slow, "full-body" orgasms when the positions are reversed? Wait until you learn about the dynamite effects of prostate stimulation and Role Reversal- the subject of next week's article!