Touch is not only the key to sexual pleasuring and arousal, but a fundamental human need for connectedness as well. From holding hands, to giving a massage, to getting a hug, touch conveys affection, caring, and love. With touch, two people can become one.
Sometimes simply lying closely with somebody can be one of the most intimate experiences. The great comfort it provides has no parallel. In sexual relationships, touch as foreplay has enormous potential, which two people can experience at many different levels. In focusing on touch in your relationship, why don’t you…
Just cuddle. Press your bodies up against each other by spooning. Or take turns feeling each other’s body weight with one partner lying on top. Cuddling can be a peaceful, shared experience as you drift into sleep, or it can be an awakening of the senses as you feel yourself – and your partner - becoming wet and hard. You can cuddle together completely naked or start out fully dressed. Part of the experience can be undressing each other one article of clothing at a time, from time to time. With the removal of every layer, come different sensations and a new intensity.
Explore each other’s bodies. Try focusing on only your fingertips as you let your hands glide over the body’s biggest organ – the skin. Learn all about your partner’s body, especially the nonsexual parts that you may not given enough attention to. If you’re the one being explored, surrender yourself to caresses. Don’t get caught up in what the two of you will do next or what you need to do to your lover when it’s your turn to give. Allow yourself to bask in touch.
Experiment with different types of sensations. These may include light kisses on the shoulder blades, a gentle pinching of a butt cheek, little licks around the naval, or a gentle biting of a big toe. Don’t be afraid to use props like a feather or fur to further eroticize touch.
Play around with different temperatures. Make your touches hot and sweaty by rubbing up against each other on a blistering hot summer day – without air conditioning. Or heat things up by cooling things down with cold bed sheets. Try putting your sheets in the freezer for 10-15 minutes before getting close to warm each other up.
Take intimacy to a different level by skillfully ravaging each other. Challenge yourselves: How long can you touch and tease each other until you can resist no more? Which one of you can hold out longer? Drive each other crazy until one of you can hold back no more…
Take turns holding each other – in the nude. As your partner holds you in an embrace, place his/her hand over yours as you slowly run your hand over your body. Allow your lover to feel your different hand movements as you pause in areas that feel good - rubbing, massaging, or stroking. After a little while, let your partner take over and guide your hand as he/she plays with your body, perhaps with new tricks of his/her own.
Bathe together. Relish in the sensations of your naked bodies sliding all over each other. Use this moment to stimulate your bodies, as you lather each other with soap suds, focusing on your erogenous zones, primarily the: ears, neck, inner thighs, buttocks, breasts, palms of the hands, and genitals.
Torture each other by simulating sex. Get in positions without penetrating and mimic thrusting motions, if only to get each other flustered and incredibly sexually charged. Gaze intently into each other’s eyes while in missionary position. Feel the buttocks against the thighs during man from behind position. Move to the woman on top position, which is especially enticing since it provides a great deal of visual stimulation, like the erect nipples and sex flush that can occur during sexual arousal.
With all of these suggestions, be sure you’re both relaxed, as being stress-free are essential!
Author: Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright PhD
Photo By: Better Sex®
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